“Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that count.” – Winston Churchill
Before-and-after photos are everywhere. A snapshot of where someone started, paired with where they’ve arrived—a gym transformation, a diet overhaul, a finished novel, or a major goal achieved. But what’s missing from those side-by-side moments is the middle. The messy, complicated, soul-stretching middle.
No one wants to talk about that. It’s easier to celebrate the finish line than to acknowledge the late nights spent battling exhaustion, the tears shed in frustration, or the moments of doubt that whisper, You’re not good enough.No one posts about the times they slipped up, the days they felt like giving up, or the scars left by the cutting words of others. Instead, we skip to the highlight reel—the polished product that hides the process it took to get there.
I remember my personal trainer, Coach Chauncey, first suggesting I tackle the stairs at the Johns Hopkins Lacrosse and Football Stadium. It sounded simple enough—just running stairs—but standing at the base of those towering rows of concrete, the enormity of the challenge hit me. The first climb was brutal. My legs screamed, my chest burned, and my mind begged me to stop. Every step felt like a small war against myself.
But I kept showing up. Some mornings, I powered through, reaching the top with a sense of accomplishment that made the pain worth it. Other days, the doubt crept in: Why are you doing this? You’re not built for this. You should quit. I stumbled, I paused, and I even considered walking away.
What no one saw were the moments in the middle. The times I sat on the edge of the steps, drenched in sweat, fighting back tears, replaying every self-doubt I’d ever had. Or the small victories—a few extra steps, a faster climb, a day when I felt a little stronger. The middle wasn’t glamorous, but it was where the magic happened. It was where I found myself becoming.
That journey taught me to embrace the process. The “during” phase—the grind, the struggle, the moments of doubt, and the small victories—is where we are shaped into who we’re meant to be. Yet, we’ve been programmed to focus on the happy ending. Society claps for the after but skips over the blood, sweat, and self-discovery it took to get there.
The truth is, the middle is beautiful. It’s where we find strength we didn’t know we had, where we learn to navigate failure and forgive ourselves for mistakes, where resilience is born, and where character is built. The middle is where we truly grow, not just into our goals but into the kind of person who can sustain them.
So, embrace the process. Celebrate the during. Be proud of the late nights, the moments of doubt, and the messy in-between. There’s beauty in becoming. You’ll look back one day, not just at the after photo, but at the road you walked to get there—and realize that was the real victory.
